{This post is a part of the Cravings blog tour.}
A few nights ago my generous husband, who also happens to be quite the gastronomer, made us a delicious artichoke and mushroom lasagna swimming in a creamy white sauce. The cheese on top was slightly browned and as soon as my husband put my serving in front of me, I dug in. The lasagna was delicious and such a gift since I wasn’t the one who cooked it; yet, eating it, like eating most things in my life lately, was a blur.
I used to be a slow eater. Some of it had to do with less than healthy reasons. I had some strange food rituals in my eating disordered days. I’d break off pieces of bread, for instance, and roll them into tiny balls between my fingers before tentatively slipping the food into my mouth, which prolonged the meal.
I don’t want to return to those strange eating habits where an inner monologue was raving inside of me about how I shouldn’t be eating anything. But I also hate how eating nowadays has become just another “to-do” in my life that I rush through.
Many mothers struggle with eating mindfully – which basically means being aware of what you’re eating, stopping before you’re full, and enjoying your meal as well – because we’re always on the go and we’ve mastered the art of multitasking. We’re squeezing meals in between all the schlepping, the homework, the soccer practices, ballet recitals, playdates, housework, and maybe homeschooling. Or we’re trying to stuff our faces before the baby wants to nurse again or before the 3-year-old spills her milk or the teenager skulks away from the dinner table. I often find myself quickly shoveling in food so that I can make sure I can get adequately fed before someone needs something from me. It’s become a habit, a matter of survival for the hurried mom. Eat as quickly as possible to ensure I’m fed.
Even on the rare occasion when I can eat alone or just with my husband, though, I still frequently find myself eating too quickly. Perhaps this way of speed eating is a relic from my eating disorder past. When I was recovering, it was tough to eat slowly, mindfully because my body was physically afraid that this indulgence of simply meeting a basic need was the feast before the famine. Eat all you can now because tomorrow you’ll be starving again. Then, there were times when eating became therapy, a way to soothe my frayed edges. Stuff the dark chocolate into your mouth – lots of it – and you’ll feel better. And I would feel slightly better for about one minute until I realized I’d eaten an entire chocolate bar and hadn’t even really enjoyed it or tasted it. By all means, satisfy that space in your soul that craves wine, manchego, butter, or gelato – but do it in moderation and please slow down enough to actually savor the indulgence.
But my speedy, mindless munching cannot only be blamed on my distorted eating history or my maternity. There’s something else going on, too. Dinner at our house is a sit-down affair where we do try to talk, and no books, television, etc. are allowed. However, I typically feed my kids their other meals at our breakfast bar since we don’t have an informal dining area off our kitchen. This means I’m standing up when I eat breakfast and lunch. So I frequently find myself nibbling on food while doing something else or several things besides just eating. Maybe I’m checking emails on my iPhone while inhaling a spinach salad at lunch. I might be reading the kids a story while they sit down and eat and I graze off their plates. Maybe I’m pouring a refill for one of my little ones with one hand while my other hand brings a sandwich to my mouth. Sometimes I read while I eat. Or I’m driving somewhere and eating at the same time.
But if I’m not just eating or maybe just eating and talking and enjoying the company of those I love, then I’m not being mindful about what I’m putting into my mouth. It’s mechanical. There’s nothing satisfying about it except maybe the calories and the energy they give my body. When I’m not focused on the act of eating, it’s also easy to consume beyond the point of physical satiety or to eat for the wrong reasons – because I’m bored, because I’m stressed because my toddler is screeching more loudly than a pack of howler monkeys, because I’m reading email and completely unaware of what’s passing through my lips.
Multitasking doesn’t only rob us of the joy of being fully present and aware of our blessings, including the food before us, but it could be making us fat. I’m not listening to the cues of my body if I’m not even thinking about chewing and swallowing my food. It’s easy to eat more when I’m not even really aware that I’m eating.
A growing body of research is pointing out the ill effects of multitasking – how it leaves us feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and unfulfilled. The technology that allows us to download a song while saying “hi” to a friend on Facebook as the television flickers in the distance and a new text on our Smartphone chirps at us is shaping our minds to process information rather than to interpret it, understand it, or even remember it. The same is true with our eating and our food. If we don’t sit down and slow down our eating so that we can fully taste the the food and enjoy the experience, then we’re just digesting it. Even if there are good nutrients in what we’re eating, even if we don’t polish off the entire sleeve of cookies, it’s still as if we’re still consuming empty calories. Eating should not be joyless, guilt-inducing, robotic, or just another thing we do while driving or texting.
I had the honor of reading an advanced copy of Cravings: A Catholic Wrestles with Food, Self-Image, and God
She writes,
“For most of us, even the best-case meal scenario is not an exercise in mindfulness. We tend to take a big bite of food and scoop the next bite onto our fork or spoon before we’ve finished chewing the first. All of [this] leads to less-than-mindful eating, allowing us to consume large amounts of food without even realizing it, sometimes without even tasting it.
When we begin to pay attention to our food, really pay attention, we are forced to confront some ugly realities, like how quickly we typically eat, how often we eat while talking or arguing, how little we really enjoy what we’re eating because we’re multitasking. So we come back around to the cold, hard truth: If we want to enjoy our food and feel good about our bodies and our weight at the same time, we have to find a way to go against the cultural grain and slow things down to a crawl.
She goes on to share a ten-step plan on how to eat more mindfully and slowly such as simply looking at your food. That’s right. Check out what’s been presented before you. Pause before digging in. Poust mentions how saying a blessing before eating can also help since it helps put her in touch with God. Shouldn’t every meal, not just Communion, – be eucharistic – an opportunity to give thanks to open ourselves to grace?
My youngest child had his first cookie over Christmas. We hosted a cookie swap at our house, and we were all enjoying a sampling of the treats. He didn’t want to be left out, so we gave him a ginger snap. (Funny, how my fourth child starts noshing on sugary treats far before my first ever did!) He was so delighted with the gift. He didn’t just eat it. He worshiped it. Watching him savor that cookie was a lesson in mindful eating. First, he licked it. Then he laughed at it. He sucked on it. He put a soggy crumb or two in his hair. He delighted in its taste, its texture, the weight of it in his pudgy hands. Eating that cookie was an experience and a joyful one at that.
Here’s my goal. I’m following my little boy’s lead and am going to really pay attention to my food the next time I eat. I’m going to slow down and experience it. I’m going to focus on its taste and texture as well as enjoy the company of my husband and children without worrying about if I’m going to have to get up to get anyone more milk. I eat healthy. I slurp up green smoothies and serve quinoa, but that doesn’t mean I’m eating the right way or even a healthy way. As someone who has had to work at making peace with her body and food, I’m learning that a healthful diet isn’t so much about what you eat but how you eat it.
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Please do check out Cravings. It’s a wonderful, helpful book that will leave you satisfied. I have one copy to give away. Please leave a comment below to be entered to win. You may leave separate comments if you share this post/giveaway on Twitter and Facebook. The contest ends at 8 pm EST on January 25, 2013. Good luck, and happy, mindful eating!!!
